Don't Let Me Catch You Throwing These Away

I remember a conversation my mom and I had about 6 months ago.

The Aluminum Bride: I don't know why brides get so stressed out right before the wedding. I mean everything is going so smoothly and we're so well prepared that surely we won't have any last minute projects. I mean, last minute projects are only for the lazy.

The Aluminum Mom: Yes, I think some girls are simply not as prepared as we are. Not to mention poised, classy, and gorgeous.

Okay, maybe that's a PARAPHRASED conversation, but the point was "we're prepared".

Or so we thought.

Programs. I hadn't FORGOTTEN about the programs, perse. I just was indecisive on the readings/music for the Mass. So finally I talked to our musician and our priest and hashed out a plan! I'm so excited! I think it will be beautiful and meaningful and I simply can't wait!!!!!

BUT, since I leave for StL in FIVE days, I knew I needed to bust out some programs like yesterday. Hello, not a good project for a girl with mild (self diagnosed) dyslexia! I mean some serious brain power went in to determining that pages 4 and 9 went on the back of 10 and 3. And yes. You read that right. We actually have a total of 12 pages in our program! The music is super duper important to me and I wanted to include all of the lyrics. Whew. What a pain!

I used Cambria and Edwardian Script as my fonts and some little scrolly graphics that turned out kind of low res, but I'm not too concerned! I also used the same design I used on my RSVP cards. I used Word, because I'm very 1995 when it comes to technology! If you're as clueless as I am, here are step by step instructions...

--I went to File>Page Setup>Margins>Orientation>Landscape

--Then in the same window I changed the margins, I just typed in 0, 0, 0, 0 and let the computer fix them for me.

-- Now for the page layout. This was TRICKY, but my BM Ana sent me her lovely template to go by. And I went by it. Until I realized that her program was 8 pages and mine was 12!!!! But it still helped. If YOU have a 12 page program, you can follow this....

Start with

12 and 1

on the back of 12 and 1 go 2 and 11

10 and 3

on the back of 10 and 3 go 4 and 9

8 and 5

on the back 8 and 5 go 6 and 7

and voila! You're done. Good luck! Here are pages 10 and 3 (10 on the left and 3 on the right)

So after I spent an entire week laying out the program I had to find somewhere to print it.

I called Office Depot

The Aluminum Bride: Hi, I need wedding programs printed, do you do that sort of thing?
Bratty Office Depot Girl: How many and what format?
The Aluminum Bride: Well, just did them in wo...

Bratty Office Depot Girl: ...I SAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIDDDD how MANY??

The Aluminum Bride: EXCUSE ME? I KNOW you did not just talk to me like that.

Bratty Office Depot Girl: (politely) I'm sorry, I was wondering how many you'd like printed.

The Aluminum Bride: THAT'S more like it.

True story. No exaggeration whatsoever in this one.

So (despite my better judgement) I brought my CD in to Office Depot the following Sunday. The Bratty Office Depot Girl was absolutely NO better in person. She was a tattooed teeny bopper who did NOT want to be working. She originally told us that they couldn't be done. But then called her supervisor over. He wasn't much more accommodating, but agreed to do them.

We found card stock that was prescored and had a pretty little black border. They also agreed to use their handy dandy folding machine to fold the inserts. YES! That just freed up about 40 hours of mind numbing work!

So 2 hours later and about 100 eye rolls from Bratty Office Depot Girl. We had the workings of some awesome (if I do say so myself) wedding programs. Now I just have to find a way to hold them together. Staples? Ribbon? I don't know!!!

THREE boxes of programs (with Bratty Office Depot Girl blurred in the background)