Monday, March 29, 2010

I’ve got a Fairy Godmother…

Well, not really a Fairy Godmother… really an Aunt. A brilliantly talented Aunt who is serving as my pre-wedding skin care personal trainer. Here are a few of her tips for my normal skin, to get in prime wedding shape by May (and all around good shape after that!). Luckily you can find these tips here on the Aluminum Bride… because I think she should package, market and sell her skin care brilliance for a hefty profit. ;-)

Here ya go ladies...

1. Get thee to Walmart, K Mart, or the like and buy a pack of the cheapest, thinnest, nastiest wash cloths you can find.
2. While you are there, pick up a new sheer foundation. Most places will let you return the item if you do not get a good color match. Ask before you buy. I like Cover Girl Smoothers. Select a color that matches your own skin color just above the jaw line. If you have a break out – just dab a little concealer on the lovely little zit and tap it with your fingertip to blend. Wear your make-up a sheer as possible any place that you are not having a break out. People usually notice the nose, mid forehead, and cheeks. If those are blemish free, the eye assumes that the rest of the skin is clear. If one has heavier makeup in that area, it looks like you need to cover something – and you don’t. Trick the eye.
3. For over-the-counter products, Olay and Neutrogena are pretty good. Pick up a day moisturizer with SPF of at least 30 and wear it every single day. Don’t waste your money on department store brands. You are paying for packaging and ads.
4. For cleaning your skin. Remember that make-up remover and skin cleanser are two different things. Any day you wear make up, you will have to remove the make up before you clean your skin. In my opinion, oil based products work the best for make up removal. So…. Buy a jar of cheap old Ponds Cold Cream. At the end of the day, remove your make up by GENTLY massaging the product into your make up so that it “joins” then tissue it off. Do this as many times as needed – usually only twice is necessary- until not a trace of color shows up on the clean tissue.
5. When you are done removing the make up – take one of the cheap wash clothes and use warm water to remove any oily residue. Use a fresh cloth each day.
6. Do NOT use any kind of toner. Toners are a colossal rip-off. They say that they remove any left over make up. Hello! If the make up has been removed, there isn’t any left over. Also, only 5% of the cost of toner is for actual product. The rest is packaging and profit. Needless to say, most manufacturers train their people to sell toner.
7. Now, you can clean your skin. Yea. At last. Pick up any Skin Cleanser in the Olay or Neutrogena line for normal skin. Just follow direction. This will go very fast because you have already done most of the work.
8. Choose a night cream for normal skin and apply. The whole cleansing process should take less than 5-7 minutes.
9. Now for the big guns…….. After one week of the above routine, use the microderabrasion kit (Olay Regenerist) I sent you.
10. Let me know how your skin is responding as we go along.
11. In the morning – are you a morning shower person? – just rinse your face with water – do not let the shower beat on your face.
12. If you want to be really aggressive, while you are in the shower (or when you get out, I guess), use the exfoliator I sent you very, very, very gently. This will give your skin a beautiful surface for make up application. Most professionals will tell you to use the exfoliator once or twice a week but that is because people are too rough. I have been exfoliating almost daily for over 30 years and have never had any irritation. But you must be very light of hand! Note that the product I choose did not have any “natural “stuff like crushed apricot seeds etc. These “crushed” products have sharp edges and can cut the skin. Always choose a product that has “spheres” or “beads”.

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